City Council Superlatives!

We know this election has been stressful and difficult choices have to be made tomorrow, so we thought we'd lighten things up a bit with a City Council Superlatives list! Also, check out our woo-woo Mayoral Astrology post and see if your stars align with your candidate of choice. Relax, enjoy and remember that opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got one and no two are the same, so letting your butt get hurt over them is just not worth it. Instead of bitchin', lighten up and start a discussion. It ain't all bad.

1st

Andreas D. Addison most likely to bench press you for your vote.

Jonathan M. (Not Tom) Cruise Most likely to fix your grandma's computer free of charge and not turn down the linty butterscotch candy from the bottom of her purse.

Harry H. Warner, Jr. Biggest Grump/Least Likely to tolerate your guff (the “get off my lawn” candidate).

2nd

A. S. "Charlie" Diradour Life of the Party!

Kimberly B. Gray Least likely to hang out with her former School Board chums.

Rebecca K. W. Keel Sweetest Pea in the Pod/Toughest Nut to Crack

3rd

Milondra B. Coleman Most likely to host her own afternoon talk show.

Dorian O. Daniels Most likely to be a train conductor that drives off the rails.

Hassan J. Fountain Most likely to tell the government to buzz off, he'll fix it himself.

Chris A. Hilbert Most likely to laugh at a joke he doesn't understand.

4th

Timothy E. Grimes Most fashionable (Actually Tim Gunn from Project Runway trying to bring a little style to Council)

Kristen Nye Larson Teacher's Pet

Larry Olanrewaju Most likely to hear, “What was that again?” when saying his name.

Jeff Thomas, Jr. The kid no one remembers at reunions, but you say you recognize him from 5th period English anyway.

Johnny Walker Most likely to get booze jokes on his name, but least likely to actually drink.

5th

Parker Agelasto Least likely to litter in the James/Most likely to volunteer to clean it up

Montigue T. Magruder Most likely to squat in the haunted house on the corner/Most likely to lead a protest.

Garrett L. Sawyer Most likely to get drowned out in the din. This dude is SO soft spoken.

6th

Donald L. Moss, III Most likely to corner you at a party and bombard you with governmental facts and statistics.

Ellen F. Robertson Most likely to fade you after the first date.

7th

Cynthia I. Newbille Least likely to declare her undying love for bacon (unlike everyone else in this town. She's a veggie gal). She also rides a mean bike in a pantsuit

Josh M. Williams Most considerate neighbor. What a nice boy!

8th

Amelia E. Lightner Most likely to get the endorsement everyone expected Reva to get.

Reva M. Trammell Most likely to save you from a burning building (y'all get your free smoke detectors now, ya hear?)

9th

Leon Benjamin, Sr. Most outspoken Trump supporter.

Michael J. Jones Most likely to be able to take you out with one finger but least likely to do it because he's a peaceful man of faith.

Germika T. Pegram Most firmly planted in reality (actual quote: “Passion is nice, but it doesn't get things done.”)

Marcus Omar Squires Most likely to be the stranger that sends you an invitation to connect on LinkedIn.